The Waiter and the Spoon

Taken off Waiter Rant, from a post in 2004. Apparently, someone sent him the story, so I have no problems re-copying it!
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A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization...

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurants' owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant."

That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of 'you know what', we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 percent."

"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

New Year, New Attempts

So we're off to another school year. My friend and fellow co-worker has re-inspired my feeble attempts at blogging with her new, freshly minted blog post. You can read it here.

Over the summer, I served full time at a local restaurant. And became addicted to a little thing called Waiter Rant. I might even use my posts here to do my own waiter rant. I, however, may not be as nice as The Waiter. Here's one for starters:

If you allow your teenage children to dine at sit down restaurants by themselves...for the love of everyone, teach them how to act. And how to tip. I came extremely close this weekend to asking a group of seven high school girls if they grew up in the zoo, because no one around them enjoyed being there. Yelling, screaming, and playing games at the table is NOT appropriate. Neither is leaving a $1 tip on a $27 tab. Thankfully, my managers have noticed these ladies before, and have noticed the trend of them playing the system to get free/discounted food. No more, girls. Taco Bell is just down the street.

Hideout Needed

On my first trip to Ethiopia, we stayed at a little resort on Lake Langano. This resort was located at the very end of what seemed like a VERY long dirt road. In reality, the road was probably only 4 or 5 miles, but when you are traveling at 30-35 mph because of road conditions, it seems much longer. Anyway - the road dead-ends at this little resort. When you get out of the car and look ahead of you, you see nothing but the lake. When you turn and look behind you, you see nothing but rocky ridges that are big enough to almost call mountains. To either side are the most beautiful flowers and incredible trees. I'd like to be back there right now.

The view going down the dirt road to the resort

Sunset over the lake

Current State of my Hometown

Trouble on the Horizon

My students are showing me they are well versed in poker-speak. My concern levels are rising.

A big booooo

Life - or should I say weather - should have a giant DISLIKE button. Because I'd push it today. It's April 20. Spring should be well underway. And I'm wearing long johns under my pants.

Not cool weather, not cool. (Technically, I suppose it is, but you get my point.

Intimidation Factor

So I work with a person who is very interesting to say the least. And I don't mean that in a positive way. I'm pretty sure they must have been home-schooled (sorry for anyone that offends) because the social awkwardness is off the charts. Anyway - I've recently come to realize that this person is afraid of me. I consider myself to be a fairly mild mannered, friendly person. I just happened to say what I think, without sugar coating my irritation of others at times. Okay, all the time. Anyway, one said occasion with this particular person happened a while back, and since then, said person won't enter a room if I'm in it. Or will press their body against the wall if I happen to walk down the same hallway. It's kind of ridiculous, I know. Insert social awkwardness here.