Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Questions
I am sitting here, on the screened-in porch at my 4 bedroom house in middle America, and it's hard to imagine anything different. I've been to Zeway, I've experienced a small part of what life there will be like, but at the present moment, my mind is wrapped up in suburban living, and I'm not sure how to change that - or if I should. Suddenly, I'm aware of this tension I'm feeling: sitting here, having everything I need (and things that I don't) at my finger tips, knowing that two weeks from now, if I have a craving for cheesecake, I can't jump in my car and run to the grocery store just down the street. I'm excited to live totally different than I am now - to really experience life in another culture. The confusing part is how I should be feeling right here, right now. I'm not sure that I can put what I'm thinking into thoughts that actually make sense, beyond what's here. And I'm not even sure that makes any sense. For those of you that have been on the other side of this: is the tension normal? Am I not really supposed to know how to feel right now?
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2 comments:
Correct. It's ok not to know what to feel or expect. Don't rush it, the best you can do is live in what is reality now. We should talk, and I think we will tonight :-)
i agree with jess. see the thing is to "be here now". so if that means tomorrow you want cheesecake, get it. that also means that you AREN'T in zeway yet, so don't go there yet. if that makes sense. there will be pletny of time for both, and you know that the "wants" will overlap into the "can't haves". and that's the hard part. bc if you're here AND there, well...then you're really no where. can't wait to see you tonight!
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